Thursday, April 12, 2007

It Ain't Me Babe.

By now you have heard the news. I am not the father of Anna Nicole’s million dollar baby. I am planning on traveling the same moral highroad as lawyer Howard K Stern: I will not contest the paternity results which seem to imply that Larry Birkhead is the father of that little sack of cash.

Which brings me to three points about the whole Anna Nicole thing:

1. Doesn’t it seem like this whole thing is right out of a John Waters film?

2. IF Larry Birkhead is indeed the father that means Anna Nicole was cheating on alleged paramour Howard K. Stern. Do you think that news crushed him? I mean now he doesn’t have his beloved nor the little bankroll baby nor does he have his fond memories of his love with Anna. Chin up, Howard K. Stern, she always really loved you most of all.

3. What is wrong with the youth of America? Was a time when disaffected youths from around the country would have read the autopsy report, fixated on the phrase “the anus was unremarkable,” and BAM! Faster than you could say “Garage band” there would be fourteen awful punk bands whose name was some variant of “Anna Nicole’s Unremarkable Anus.” I want the tshirt.

Clearly, I have been doing some heavy thinking regarding this whole Anna Nicole thing.

How am I going to get through life with this tragic revelation weighing so heavily on my shoulders? Well, it appears I am going to be spending ALL WEEKEND at the Palace of Wonders. Check it out.

Friday the 13^th is the Cheeky Monkey Sideshow starring supercool Swami Yomahmi. I have it on excellent authority that there may be a bona fide celebrity in the audience? Who? Well, you will have to attend the show to find out.

Saturday the 14^th is Jollyship the Whiz-Bang. “Jollyship the Whiz-Bang is dedicated to exploring the nautical relationship between puppetry and rock music, including but not limiting itself to all things danceable, piratey, and grog related.” I love all of these things. I have never seen them all together in one place myself…so I don’t know how it is going to play out. But I sure am interested. Oh, they also get bonus style point from me for putting a “how to correctly spell the name of this troupe” bit on the end of their main page.

Sunday the 15^th I am going to hear James Taylor speak in the Palace of Wonders Museum Series about “Outing the Sideshow.”

Somehow I will get by.

(And now we should all take a moment to remember a truly great man. And we should be just a little bit sad he is gone.)

posted by Kathleen Kotcher at 12:45 PM | Permanent Link

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