May 1998 Sawdust Trail
A
very peri-odd-ical recounting of some of the strangest things
the sideshow world has to offer. The Sawdust
Trail is updated whenever we have something earth-shattering
to announce or whenever I need to see my name in lights. Make sure to sign
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Southern Sojourn to Sideshow USA
Our annual February trek to Gibsonton, Fla. (also known as Showtown, USA) was a fun-filled journey full of sideshow anecdotes and much hilarity. But after all of these years, could anything else be expected?
In addition to all of the various and sundry sideshow silliness, this trip the SHOCKED AND AMAZED! staff decided to tour some of the more notable tourist attractions in the Orlando area. No, we did not visit Disney-hell.
Our Founder: Monster of All He Surveys
Instead we took a trip to a place with a reputation of being less understanding than the Disney empire, with more human rights violations than ole' Walt could shake a costumed character in 95 degree heat at. We went to CHINA. Well, actually it was Florida's Splendid China. It's just like China, only in Florida and really, really tiny.
It is a replica of the entire country of China done in miniature. It has everything. The Great Wall of China, the Shoalin Temple (y'know from the television show Kung Fu), my personal fav-The Dong Village, the cliff coffins, those terra cotta temple warriors, and lots of other really small Chinese things. Plus it lends itself handily to wisecracks about student beating and human rights violations. Be sure you bestow your own "Most Favored Themepark" status upon it.
In addition to the miniatures, there are a few live shows featuring Chinese acrobats including Fang-Fang-you may remember this little tyke from her contortion bit on Viva Variety. Not real crowded when we went, there are not a whole lot of parking spaces but I don't think crowds are ever an issue. Evidently, their highest attendance days are when a bunch of protestors show up and picket the front door (the Chinese government reportedly owns the park). Look, if you absolutely have to spend almost $30 to get in the door of some attraction in Florida-just come here.
Much more highly recommended, considerably cheaper and more politically correct (Thankfully! Last thing I want to be accused of it not being sensitive to every last jackass on the planet and all of their whiney problems!) was Ripley's Believe it! or Not? Odditorium in Orlando.
Are You Petrified or Are You Happy to See Me?
Now I have been into a couple of these joints in my time-and this one is by far the best. It is designed to look like a slanted house and is crammed with interactive exhibits and some really creepy crazy crap, lots of photo opps to make the staff of SHOCKED AND AMAZED! look like complete idiots. This place rocked. In addition to the usual shrunken heads, lint art and odd shaped potatoes they had a really extensive selection of human oddity artifacts.
After the brief roadside respite-the full on freaky fun broke loose.
Cruel Victim of the Beauty Myth
Bill and Bev Cadeaux were generous enough with their time to allow your humble narrator a chance to sit in the Spidora illusion. Of course, I think I have agreed to take a shift in the box next time I see them on the road. That's showbiz!
The World's Only Living Half Girl, Jeanie Tomaini, continues her long recovery from a continuing series of annoying illnesses and infections. It's heartening to see that nothing can dampen her enthusiasm and warm smile.
Marvelous Melvin Burkhart continues to be the most quotable man in Gibsonton. It's not the stories he tells about himself but the stories other tell about him. According to one informant, he spotted Melvin in the grocery store and greeted him and told him he hadn't seen him in a long time. "What?!," Melvin barked, "Don't you ever watch the television!" Melvin just had a gig with frequent cohort Jerry Springer on the Kathy Fountain show in Tampa, Fla. We haven't screened the tape yet, but I am quite sure that Melvin stole the show!
Dean Potter gets on the Godzilla Bandwagon
Dashing Dean Potter showed us his fabulous collection of sideshow-themed products and was the picture of southern hospitality despite the fact a tree has dissected his trailer for him during a particularly dangerous storm.
Ward Hall, Our Founder James Taylor,
Chris Christ and Horny Companion
King of the Sideshows, Ward Hall along with partner Chris Christ have announced their schedule for the upcoming season. Their museum show is an awesome site to behold. Make sure you visit them somewhere along the sawdust trail.
Herbie and Billy in front
of Giant's Treasure Cove
Billy Rogers of Pirate's Treasure Cove (a theatrical supply and exotic bird store) was kind enough to allow the folks at SHOCKED AND AMAZED! access to some of his amazing banners. This is after being treated to the vocal stylings of Herbie at the Showtown bar karaoke night.
Final Curtain
While in Gibsonton, we learned of the sudden death of one of the fixtures of the Museum of the Carnival, Butch Schutte. Butch met his violent, untimely end while playing a date in Florida. As more details become available, we will certainly post them here.
The staff at SHOCKED AND AMAZED! were also saddened to hear of the passing of showman Stu Miller on April 4, his warm greeting at the gate of every Extravaganza will be sorely missed.
Coming Next Time on the Sawdust Trail
I Could Watch You a
Thousand Times and Never Tire
The Torture King (formerly of the Jim Rose Circus) will be playing Friday, May 9 at the Metro Café in Washington, DC. Get your tickets now and watch this space for behind-the-scenes information about the man who loves to be stuck with lots and lots of needles. Scary! Be-you-tiful!
Also, an update on
the publication of Volume 5 of SHOCKED AND AMAZED! featuring
the unstoppable Jim Rose of the Jim Rose Circus--you will not believe
what we got him to tell us. It's sure to make you drive a nail through your
nether regions. Plus more, more, more!
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Illustrations © Copyright 2002, Mark Frierson